How not to live in fear
Hello to all of us. I want to wish you a great day!
Let’s be grateful today because spring is on. We are in May already. Incredible how fast time flies. The weather is fine, not too cold and not too hot, it is perfect. Nature is flourishing and we are so blessed to see all its wonders. The sun is shining more, the trees are green, the flowers are so colorful and happy, thousands of scents caress our sense of smell, migratory birds are back and enjoy us, people are going outside more. Spring is a beautiful season.
Let's see how we can raise our lives today! I was wondering what would be a good topic to discuss. Fear came into my mind. It is a feeling that it is always following us wherever we go or do. It can stop us do the things we want and it is the trigger for stress and anxiety. It also helps us survive because it is showing us the risks. Living in constant fear is really damaging our well-being and our mental and physical health.
Fear is such a complex feeling and sometimes we don’t even notice it. We take action thinking that this is the right way to do it, but in reality, we do it because of fear. Doing this for so long makes the decisions we make automatic. To break this pattern and not act as fear is whispering in our ears, it takes a lot of effort, time, and patience. The first step that we need to do is to be aware of this behavior which is now so natural to us. So take some time, it can be days or weeks, and observe your actions as you would be a different person. This could be a game-changer. This could change your life!
But what can we actually do to better handle fear? Here below you can find some ideas:
Accept and listen to fear, but don’t let it control you!
I remember that some years ago, I listened to a podcast and I really liked the idea described. I don’t remember exactly the context, but I do remember that you can look at your feelings as if they would be your advisors.
Imagine that you are a king at a round table and you need to make some decisions today. On the table are manuscripts with your dreams, health (mental and physical), daily tasks, relations, jobs, and so on. Beside you, at the table, there are your advisors: calmness, courage, reality, positivity, confidence, hard work, frustration, and fear. You begin the discussion by choosing the first topic, let’s say dreams, and you let your advisors express their thoughts on this. Everybody begins to say something about how they would act to work on the dream. Discussion begins to be fruitful because a lot of solutions are found. At one point fear is hastily pushing the chair to the back making a lot of noise, standing up, and screaming: This is too hard and we don’t even know how to do it! This is too risky! There is no certainty that we will succeed! Let’s not go on this path!
As the king of your life, you have the power to make any decision you want. What would you do? On one side you have the solutions and ideas on how you can work on your dream and on the other side you have the option to stop and not start or continue anything. Fear is right that you don’t know how to do certain things, but you can learn them. She is right also that you need to do a lot of work and could be that you don’t succeed. It is good to listen and know about these risks that she is expressing, but to stop everything and not pursue your dream is a decision that you alone must take. I remember a quote that could help in this matter:
“If you think the cost of winning is high, just wait until you get the bill for regret.”
I am not suggesting what you should choose, but you need to think well. Ok, maybe I am trying just a bit to lead you on a growth path. Whatever you choose please don’t live your life in fear. This will not lead you to a good place. It will not shape you into your best version. If you live in fear it is just the start because then panic, stress, and anxiety are coming to you. They will make you not see the reality around you, they will drag you down. So make a choice and accept that fear will always follow you. You need to listen to all the fears but don’t make decisions based on fear.
As I am a fan of the Dune books and movie I will post also the quote that was used on fear:
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
Be brave, decide to take action even if you are afraid!
Fear comes to us in many forms. It can be the fear of the dark, the fear of publicly speaking, the fear of having a difficult conversation, the fear of death, and the list can go on. We have many fears and we will find more during our lives. Don’t worry, this is normal, we are humans and our primitive mode to avoid pain is always on. We can live our lives ruled by our fears or we can choose to be brave and take action even when we are afraid. To be brave it is not something that we are born with. It is something that we need to master during our lives. As soon as we learn this skill our entire world is changing because we make different decisions.
“You could be the master of your fate, you could be the captain of your soul. But you have to realize that life is coming from you and not at you, and that takes time. ”
Focus on what you can control!
I can’t emphasize enough that we need to focus on what we can control. This is a superpower that can be always used. You can’t control people’s ideas and thoughts, you can’t control events and you can’t control the randomness of life. But you can control yourself and how you respond to life's challenges. I’m not saying this is easy, but I am convinced it is a better option.
I want to give you an example. Let’s say that John is going to work every day. He is using his beautiful Audi for this and it takes about forty-five minutes to get there. Usually, the traffic is hard and this is annoying John and the other drivers. Staying in the car and waiting at the traffic light or in line is not a nice experience. Traffic is something that John can’t influence and it will be like this every day. He can choose to be angry every single day about it and push the horn, insult the other drivers, or drive the car aggressively. But John is calm because he knows that the traffic is there to stay. He doesn’t want to spend his energy on frustration, he accepts it and focuses on other things. He listens to soft music, he thinks of nice things and he is polite to the other drivers. Let’s be like John.
As we are at the end of today’s post, from the bottom of my heart I want to ask you not to live in fear. If you do this you will make better decisions about your life and you will become unstoppable. To achieve this you can use my ideas:
Accept and listen to fear, but don’t let it control you!
Be brave, decide to take action even if you are afraid!
Focus on what you can control!
If you want to read more posts like this and also get daily motivational quotes from me, you can follow me on my social media links below. You can also create an account on my site and attend my online course: How to Sleep Better!
Until next time, be healthy, be happy, and raise your life, my friend!